Emergency (Lack of) Broadcast System

December 16, 2004

“President Bush has ordered plans for temporarily disabling the U.S. network of global positioning satellites during a national crisis to prevent terrorists from using the navigational technology, the White House said Wednesday. more (

So will we follow that up by requiring that all maps be printed on flashpaper with a small incendiary reciever attached?

It might be just the holiday curmudgeon in me, but I think if you wanted to shut off something meaningful during a national emergency, it’d be all of the news outlets spending 1 hour a day with real news, and 23 hours a day with stuff that kinda looks and sounds like news, but isn’t actually. 

Maybe require them to air canceled sitcoms from the 70s, 80s and 90s for 44 minutes each hour for the duration of the emergency—with any luck, the terrorists might glance at a set, catch 5 minutes of “Inside Herman’s Head” or “Joanie Loves Chachi” and decide to blow their own brains out rather than risk seeing any more…


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