The Code is a Lie!

December 20, 2007

(with apologies to Jonathan Coulton)

This was a triumph.
In my portfolio:
It’s hard to overstate
my satisfaction.

Web App Development.
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
(Except the sites that are dead.)

But there’s no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on coding
till you run out of cake.
And the AJAX gets tight.
And you make a neat site.
For the projects which are
still alive.

I’m not even angry.
I’m being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke your word.
And stiffed me.

And tore up my invoice.
And broke the session management.
As I wrote you off it hurt because
I was so thrilled for your site!

Now these old screen shots
Are still worth showing as mine.
And you’re out of beta.
Your site’s launching on time.

So I’m glad I got burned.
Think of all the things I learned
For the projects which are
still alive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you’ll find someone else
to help you.
Maybe offshore it…

Anyway this cake is great.
It’s so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking
when there’s coding to do.
When I look at your site
it makes me glad I’m not you.

I’ve got features to code
Client’s hands to hold.
On the projects which are
still alive.

And believe me I am still alive.

I’m building web apps and I’m still alive.

I wrote your ass off and I’m still alive.

When your site’s gone I’ll be still alive.

When you’ve folded I’ll be still alive.

Still alive.

Still alive.

(the much-beloved original:)